Tag Archives: I’m weird.

Anatomy of a post

Most of the time I don’t think my life is very interesting.  I’m home all day with a kid who says things like, “Oom. Et-ee. It daa. Hai mummy. Puppies. Puppies. Pysh ah. Ah! Hahaha! Whoees. Et-ee”   Sure, sometimes she’s funny, but I forget what it is that she did that was so funny, or it’s only funny if you SAW her do it.

I write mini blog posts in my head, all day.  I write because I want to remember this time.  I didn’t write much during Claire’s first 9 months, and I wish I had.  So I’m determined to keep track of the daily happenings.

So, when something that had potential to be a really great post happened last night, I immediatly wrote down some notes about it.  I’ve been trying to twist and turn the events, to get just the right descriptions to accuratly portray the incident.  I don’t think I have it just yet, but I’m going to revisit this post during her naps and keep working on it.

Topic:  Claire sat on my lap while I was pooping.

Here’s where it gets tricky.  Normally, I’d start at the beginning.  I set Claire up with (fucking) Nemo, and tiptoed away to the bathroom.  I thought I had enough time to do my ahem business before she decided to look for me.

I was wrong.  I had maybe 45 seconds to myself before I heard her little footsteps and her small voice ask, “Mommy?”

“Hi, honey.  Mommy’s going potty.  Do you want to go potty?”  I asked, trying to buy some time.  She nodded, lifted up her dress and sat on her potty.  This will give me at least another minute.

But, she’s a smart kid.  She stood up almost immediatly, looked down at her diaper in confusion, and walked over to me.  She played with some of the bath toys, but looked a little sad.

“Mommy?”  She asked, holding up her arms.  “Pee-ee?  Peeese?”  This means “Pick me up, please.”  Not “Can I go pee, too?”  So I did.  I picked her up, sat her on my lap and continued to do my ahem business.

And I’ll tell you, she was silent.  No wiggling, no speaking, she just sat there, stoic.  I haven’t seen her sit that quietly since she learned how to walk.  We practiced some sign language – boat, baby, book.

I finally was done, and we walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand.

So, here’s my dilema.  The funny part about that story is in the middle.  She sat on my lap while I was pooping.  But the part about her being quiet is pretty funny too.  I don’t know.  I’ll look at it later and see what I can change.  There’s always room for improvement.

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Unanswered questions

I was watching The View this morning (shut up, Claire was taking a nap and to my credit I was also switching back to The Price Is Right) and they were talking about Caroline Kennedy and her experience.  People have been giving her flack for her supposed lack of experience.  The ladies on The View were saying that people needed to look at her whole life’s experience, not just her professional experience.  They were saying that some women take different career paths than men; they’re not as linear as men’s.

They said that some women start their career when their kids are in school all day.  That’s an age when some men are trying to FINISH their career.

I wondered, will I be like that?  I’ve never had a “career.”  I’ve worked since I turned 16, except for the nine months I stayed home with Claire after she was born, and again now.  But I was never doing anything I truely loved.  I’m not even sure what I would do if I have the chance to do anything.  I like planning weddings, but I feel like I need to do that in an office.  I’m not good at working from home.

Will I start a career when Claire’s in school full time?  If so, what will it be?  When will I feel like my life is complete?

Big questions for a Tuesday morning.

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What I think.

A few thoughts I’ve had while washing my face, which by the way I’ve been totally doing every night, except that night I forgot, but I didn’t so much as forget as I passed out before I could make it to the bathroom (even though the bathroom is on my WAY to my bed), but to my credit I had been drinking the bottle of wine I got for $4.50 at the W@l-Marts (which, incidentally, didn’t give me a hangover.  No hangover, AND cost effective?  This is an adult beverage I can get behind!).

File all that under things that no one cares about, except my mother and the makers of Desiten (because you’re supposed to put Desiten on a zit to make it go away, but I haven’t had any zits to put it ON because I’ve been washing my face every night.  And morning!  And I’ve been moisturizing! And using wrinkle cream!)

Hi, I like commas and parenthesis.  The end.

1. In this day and age, why haven’t they come up with something that turns thoughts into written text?  My mind goes so fast (See: above ramblings about diaper cream and cheap wine), that I don’t write it all down, and I typically don’t even shower most days so the odds of me learning shorthand are pretty slim.  I mean, just imagine with Jenny The Bloggess could do with such technology!  Although I supposed what she writes is not far off from what she thinks.  There are some people who write a blog post in Microsoft Word, then edit it a few times, then post it, and there are some who type until their fingers get tired, then hit publish.  My money’s on the fact that Jenny is of the latter persuasion.

2.  I have done nothing of consequence in the last 3 days.  Nothing.  The highlights of my days are naptime (so I can clean up everything in the house so it’s nice and orderly when Claire wakes up.  So, you know, she cal pull it all out again), and 4 pm when Gilmore Girls comes on (not that I ever get to WATCH Gilmore Girls.  No, it’s Nemo Nemo Nemo all the time in this house hold.  Finding Nemo?  Try FUCK Nemo).  This is my life and it bores me to tears.

3.  This is a picture of a wall hanging that was so kindly left by our landlord.  In our bedroom.  If you can’t tell by the (upside down) picture, it’s carpet.  And very disturbing.  Even more disturbing?  The fact that not one, but TWO people have asked if they can have it.  And yet it’s still in our bedroom, just glaring at me while I sleep, with all it’s carpet-ness.

photo82

4.  Small lines + my handwriting = This.  Horrible penmanship.photo7

5.  While watching Condi Rice play the piano for the Queen a few weeks ago on the local news:
JR:  This is horrible news.
Me: What?! Is she getting out of the political game to  play the piano professionally?  That IS bad news! If she’s getting out, who else is leaving?  What is Obama going to do?  Is the world SO BAD?  And why become a pianist?  Why not go into the private sector? It must be worse than we thought!  Oh NO!
JR: No, I mean channel 2 is bad local news.  The good news comes on at 10.

6. Why do I get so motivated in the middle of the night?  It’s almost midnight and I know if I don’t go to bed now, I’ll need more coffee than I currently own, but all I can think is of all the things I could be doing.  I could clean the kitchen – Claire’s asleep and JR’s in the garage and I could totally get it done.  I should watch Dirty Sexy Money and Grey’s Anatomy and Gilmore Girls.  How will I sleep until I know what crazy hijinks those interns at Seattle Grace got into this week?  Blog.  I really should be blogging and I need to start leaving more comments on the blogs I read everyday.  I could be missing out on meeting my new Internet BFF because I’m not commenting.  I think I’ll just go watch Conan.

7. I went grocery shopping and among other things I bought a ten pound log? tube? of ground beef.  I’ve never seen ten pounds of beef in one place before, and Claire LOVED it. Damn thing was bigger than her.

photo9

This has been “Cori’s Deep Thoughts.”  I’m totally rethinking my idea to leave a notebook by my bed.

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How I can transistion from cleaning products to poo in one fluid motion

OK.  That’s enough of that.  I can’t stand to look at my whining anymore. So, I’m going to write about something else.  But, I don’t know what.  Nothing too exciting has been happening here.  I purchased some OxiClean on Tuesday (actually, it was the off brand – half the price of the regular one) and can I tell you how awesome it is?  It’s awesome!  I had two weird, brown spots on my carpet.  They were about a foot wide and I really don’t know where they came from.  Anyway, 1/8 of a scoop in 2 cups of water, scrub scrub scrub with some cloth diapers, dry and it’s gone.  A.MAZ.ING.

 

See, now I think I’ve hit a new low.  Seriously.  I have nothing to talk about my go-to topic is household cleaning supplies?  Ugh. 

 

I said to my friend the other day, “Hey, I’m somebody’s mother.”  And the phrase got tripped up on my tongue.  Is it normal, 16 months after their birth, to STILL not feel like a mother?  This may sound weird, but I know she’s my DAUGHTER, but I don’t feel like a MOTHER.  Ok, I’m a little dumb.

 

Seriously ya’ll, nothing has been happening.  The funniest thing that’s happened to me this week is that I had one too many cups of coffee one morning and had to….you know…drop the kids off at the pool (side note, one of the guys that was a councilor with me at Uof M that summer used to say that he had to Make.  Which cracks me up a little bit.) (Oh, side note again.  When JR worked for Major Computer Company, the guys would keep track of how many times they would…make….in a day and circle the date on the calendar if they went more than 3 times.  In one day. That’s exhausting!).  Anyway, I had to poo and as I was in mid…..drop…..(god, this is getting more and more gross), someone walked in.  I was so embarrassed, I went home at lunch to chance my shoes so no one would know it was me.  

 

See?  That’s all I got.  Boring.

 

 

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Testing.

If I ever want MC Urban to read my blog, I’m going to have to make my links open in a new window.

[update] Dude. I rock with my mad HTML skilz!

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