Tag Archives: me

Anatomy of a post

Most of the time I don’t think my life is very interesting.  I’m home all day with a kid who says things like, “Oom. Et-ee. It daa. Hai mummy. Puppies. Puppies. Pysh ah. Ah! Hahaha! Whoees. Et-ee”   Sure, sometimes she’s funny, but I forget what it is that she did that was so funny, or it’s only funny if you SAW her do it.

I write mini blog posts in my head, all day.  I write because I want to remember this time.  I didn’t write much during Claire’s first 9 months, and I wish I had.  So I’m determined to keep track of the daily happenings.

So, when something that had potential to be a really great post happened last night, I immediatly wrote down some notes about it.  I’ve been trying to twist and turn the events, to get just the right descriptions to accuratly portray the incident.  I don’t think I have it just yet, but I’m going to revisit this post during her naps and keep working on it.

Topic:  Claire sat on my lap while I was pooping.

Here’s where it gets tricky.  Normally, I’d start at the beginning.  I set Claire up with (fucking) Nemo, and tiptoed away to the bathroom.  I thought I had enough time to do my ahem business before she decided to look for me.

I was wrong.  I had maybe 45 seconds to myself before I heard her little footsteps and her small voice ask, “Mommy?”

“Hi, honey.  Mommy’s going potty.  Do you want to go potty?”  I asked, trying to buy some time.  She nodded, lifted up her dress and sat on her potty.  This will give me at least another minute.

But, she’s a smart kid.  She stood up almost immediatly, looked down at her diaper in confusion, and walked over to me.  She played with some of the bath toys, but looked a little sad.

“Mommy?”  She asked, holding up her arms.  “Pee-ee?  Peeese?”  This means “Pick me up, please.”  Not “Can I go pee, too?”  So I did.  I picked her up, sat her on my lap and continued to do my ahem business.

And I’ll tell you, she was silent.  No wiggling, no speaking, she just sat there, stoic.  I haven’t seen her sit that quietly since she learned how to walk.  We practiced some sign language – boat, baby, book.

I finally was done, and we walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand.

So, here’s my dilema.  The funny part about that story is in the middle.  She sat on my lap while I was pooping.  But the part about her being quiet is pretty funny too.  I don’t know.  I’ll look at it later and see what I can change.  There’s always room for improvement.

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Unanswered questions

I was watching The View this morning (shut up, Claire was taking a nap and to my credit I was also switching back to The Price Is Right) and they were talking about Caroline Kennedy and her experience.  People have been giving her flack for her supposed lack of experience.  The ladies on The View were saying that people needed to look at her whole life’s experience, not just her professional experience.  They were saying that some women take different career paths than men; they’re not as linear as men’s.

They said that some women start their career when their kids are in school all day.  That’s an age when some men are trying to FINISH their career.

I wondered, will I be like that?  I’ve never had a “career.”  I’ve worked since I turned 16, except for the nine months I stayed home with Claire after she was born, and again now.  But I was never doing anything I truely loved.  I’m not even sure what I would do if I have the chance to do anything.  I like planning weddings, but I feel like I need to do that in an office.  I’m not good at working from home.

Will I start a career when Claire’s in school full time?  If so, what will it be?  When will I feel like my life is complete?

Big questions for a Tuesday morning.

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*exhale*

Ok.  So it’s been 4 days since the Day Of Reckoning, and things are a lot better.  Tuesday was spent at home, all day.  We didn’t do any chores, we didn’t run any errands, our main focus was to have fun. And we did.  We played with blocks, and balls.  After a small argument about the necessity of wearing a coat, we went outside and played with the dogs.  I think I handled that one pretty well, actually.  I asked Claire if she wanted to go outside and play.  She said yes, so I put on my coat and held her coat out to put it on her.  She shook her head, and walked away.  So, I said, “You have to wear a coat outside.  If you don’t want to wear it, we’ll stay in.”  Three tries, and she let me put it on and we had a great time.

That was the only hiccup the whole day.  Wednesday JR stayed home from work, so of course Claire was a little angel.  She got in her carseat without even a whimper (at one point while we were driving to get lunch, she was kissing her baby doll.  Making a liar out of me, she is) and we had a lovely lunch.  Thursday was much of the same.

Today’s been a little rough, but I think it has something to do with the fact that Granny watched her last night while JR and I went out to dinner, and when we got home (at 11), she was STILL AWAKE.  Granny said she tried to put her down, but that she wouldn’t sleep.

The one saving grace throughout this whole thing is her naps.  She still takes two, one at 9 or 10 (depending on when she gets up) and one around 4.  Both times I take her in her room, make sure she has her milk, pacifier, blanket and pillow, and she just lays down and falls asleep.  How long she sleeps is another story, but it’s been my one victory that she falls asleep so well.  Of course now that I say that, she’s going to cry and thrash about every time I try to put her down.

The next week is packed with holiday visitors.  My dad is coming in tomorrow afternoon, and staying until Monday.  My mom (assuming she can get off work – please let her get off work!) will be coming in Wednesday and staying until Sunday.  We have Christmas morning at my lovely sister-in-law’s, Boxing Day on the 26th and JR’s old theater troupe is having a reunion at our house on the 27th.

My Christmas shopping is done, save some stocking stuffers for JR and Claire.  I need to wrap everything and ship presents to JR’s dad, but I can do that tonight.

So, things are better.  Much better.  It might be her, but it might also be my attitude toward her.  I was so frustrated on Monday, and she could tell.  I’m not letting myself get frustrated like that anymore.  She’s beautiful and wonderful and yes, a little headstrong, but that’s ME and JR in her.  And I love her; I just have to show her more often.

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Filed under Houston, Note to Self

How I see myself

Last night I went to happy hour with some ladies* from a message board I frequent.  This may sound a little weird, meeting people for happy hour that you’re never met before, but the ladies* are all really close.  It’s interesting, we’re usually one of the first people we tell things to – pregnancy, miscarriages, new jobs.  It’s safe because we typically don’t know a lot of the members in real life, so we don’t have to worry about them telling other people.  About once a week, there’s a post about how much we enjoy the other members.  They’re all so supportive and we don’t have the kind of snark that the national boards have.

But, I digress.  I met two of them last night for some margaritas and mexican food.  We had a great time.  More than once, they mentioned how funny I am on the board and that when I told everyone we’re moving to Houston, they said to themselves, “I have to hang out with her IRL before she leaves.”

I know!  I was as surprised as you probably are.  I mean, sometimes I think I’m funny.   But that’s usually when I’m speaking in a funny voice, or dancing around the kitchen.  And it’s usually only funny to my 16 month old.

***

A few weeks ago, we went to a party at our friend’s house.  A coworker of her’s was there with his girlfriend.  Homegirl had been quiet most of the night, just sitting back and observing everything that was going on.  As is usually the case when we get together with JR’s friends, there was a lot going on.  All of us are pretty outgoing – it’s one of the reasons I get along so well with “his” friends (I know, they’re my friends too, but they were his first so…anyway).  At one point, after I finished a long (probably embellashed) story about something JR did, she looked at me and asked if I was a writer.  Taken aback, I mumbled something about this blog and my low stats and kinda didn’t know what to say.  No, I’m not.  I write on a blog that hardly anyone reads (which doesn’t really matter, I’m just sayin’**) and most of the time isn’t not very good.  I asked her why she thought that.  She replied that I frame stories like a writer.  I can’t remember the last time I was given such a nice compliment.

**

I don’t know the purpose of telling you this.  Maybe it’s to look at how people look at you verses how you see yourself.  Now that we’re moving, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do.  I’d love to stay in the wedding biz, but I feel like I need more of a scheduled day to get things done.  JR thinks I’d been good at PR for some big company, but I think of all the times I’ve said something inappropriate and think that’s probably not a good idea.  I don’t think I’m a good writer, but could I BECOME one?  I don’t know.  I’ve always wanted to be published.  I just don’t know what to write about.

*

So in closing, I don’t know what I was saying.  Maybe just that I need to take a long look at my strengths, instead of just my weaknesses when I think about a career.  Or maybe I should figure out a way to become a professional Member-of-a-message-board-and-happy-hour-goer.

Yeah, that sounds perfect.

kisses.

* I HATE when people refer to grown women as girls.  I’ve been through puberty, I deserve a better moniker.

** My mother-in-law says “I’m just sayin'” ALL.THE.TIME and it drives me up the wall.  She says it after just about every statement.  And now I’m going to be living within 30 miles of her.  Awesome.  ; )

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