Tag Archives: funny

“Well, I still have to pee.”

I was going to write a post this afternoon filled with WOE! and HATE! and TEARS, but then my lovely sister-in-law called me and I’ve been giggling for about an hour, thinking about her ordeal last night.

Let me back up.  Yesterday morning, my lovely sister-in-law took her two kids to get a flu shot.  They all got their shots and went back home, armed with Popsicles and various Princess movies to appease the kids.  The girls didn’t have a reaction at all.  They slept all afternoon, and awoke happy and wide-eyed.

My lovely sister-in-law, however, had a little reaction.  As in, her entire leg swelled up to the size of a horse’s penis (my words, not her’s) and her heart raced.  We spoke last night at 5, and her husband was taking the girls to a playground to give Addie some downtime.  The doctor told her to rest, and if her blood pressure didn’t go down by the morning, to come in.

By this morning, her blood pressure HAD gone down, but there was a bigger problem.  The left side of her body was paralyzed.

I swear this gets funny.  Wait for it…

She learned of her paralysis early this morning when she got up to pee.  Her leg felt like it was asleep.  Thinking she had just slept on it wrong, she continued her perilous trek over mounds of clean laundry and toys to the bathroom.

Then she fell.

She tried calling out for her husband, but her tongue was swollen like she had just smoked way too much pot (no, Mom, I don’t know if that’s what happens when you smoke way too much pot).  It came out a marbled, “Daaugugh.”

Seeing as how his name is Dayne, not Daaugugh, her husband was thoroughly confused when he looked over the side of the bed to see his beloved on the floor.  She told him what happened, and he asked if he wanted him to put her back in bed.  This is where it gets funny.

She said, “Well, I still have to pee.”

So, the loving husband that he is, helped her pee at 3 in the morning, while still half asleep.  She’s sure he thought she was drunk.

She just got use of her arm, and her face isn’t numb anymore, but her leg still doesn’t work and it’s still swollen.  She had to use a chair to get to the refrigerator to make a sandwich.

I reminded her that we live 2 blocks away, and scolded her for not calling me to help this afternoon, and she promised to call me tomorrow.

Oh man.  She was telling me that and I was laughing so hard, I had tears rolling off my cheeks.

Don’t worry.  I still have some woe. but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.  Today I’m going to embrace the laughter.


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