I read something this morning that I’ve been thinking about all day. In one of the (many) blogs I read, Mr Lady talks about being pissed slightly annoyed at a mother who parked in a narrow, snow and ice covered, no-parking pick-up and drop off lane at her kid’s school. She got mad, wrote a letter and now is on the PTA, directing traffic and organizing other parents to get behind her on this.
I don’t work, as you may know. And I miss it. I dream about getting up early, showering in the morning (instead of late afternoon, or not at all), getting dressed up, and driving to a job. I wouldn’t mind long commutes, as long as I have my coffee and a book-on-tape. I miss listening to the news in the morning, and being around adults, having adult conversations.
Of course, in my dream, I’m working someplace where I love my job and I’m fulfilled with my career. That’s the crux of the issue, I think. I stay home with Claire all day, everyday. Sure, I see her learning things that I’ve taught her. I get to see her grow up and change before my eyes. I’m lucky that I don’t HAVE to work. But, I’m not fullfilled. I’m been reading more, which I never had time for when I was working. And I get to cook now, which I never wanted to do when I was working. But when Claire learns a new word, it’s me who gets to hear it all day. It’s “nope” by the way. I HATE that word, it’s just dripping with blatent disreguard for my rules.
Anyway, after reading Mr. Lady’s words today, I realized that the thing I miss about working is feeling like I’m DOING something. Feeling like I’m making a difference, and am worth something to the people I work with. Claire’s not so good with the thank you’s, is what I’m saying. But, I CAN do something. I CAN make a difference in some way.
I need to be more like Mr. Lady and FIND the things that I’m passionate about. I know there are things that I feel strongly about, I just need to find them and get off my (ever-growing) ass and DO SOMETHING.
Of course, as I write this, I’m sitting on my couch, drinking coffee. Sometimes it’s really easy to stay home and not do anything.