I don’t think I’m good at being a mom. I mean, I don’t hit her or anything, and I usually really enjoy spending time with her. But, she’s going through a phase (oh sweet jesus on a cracker, please be a phase. I don’t think I could handle it if this is the person she’s turning out to be) where she’s just….cranky….and whiny…and kinda bitchy headstrong. We’ve been needing to disipline her for a few weeks now. Nothing serious, just telling her to “put your bottom on the seat,” or “Claire, we don’t touch the buttons on the TV.”
But, she won’t stop. It’s a constant battle to get her diaper changed, get her clothes on, get her to eat something other than hotdogs in a place other than on the couch. She fights everything. She’ll walk up to the TV (which is large, and sitting on a coffee table and I have fears of it falling down on top of her), looks at me (and I tell her that she should play with something else. Here, what about this AWESOME BOOK or this REALLY FUN BABY STROLLER?!), shakes her head and puts her hand right on the screen.
I don’t know what to do. I try to distract her, give her something else tp play with, take her in another room where the temptation of playing with things that are off limits are not an issue. But she runs back into the living room. Where the temptation is. We’re going to change the layout of the house when we move, and put the TV on the wall and the cable box above it so she can’t touch it.
Maybe it’s the move. Maybe she’s stressed out. Maybe it’s just that I’m on my period and don’t have ANY patience. But, I’m at my wits end. I’m frustrated and I find myself really enjoying the hours that she’s at the daycare because it’s calm and quiet in the house. I don’t WANT to feel like this. I’m not going to have a daycare to ship her off to when we move. I’m going to have to face it head on and figure it out.
I just don’t have the energy now.