Too many what if’s

I worry a lot.  It’s usually about dumb things, like getting to the babysitters’ too late, or forgetting something when we take a trip.  I know, in the grand scheme of things, it’s OK if we get to the babysitters’ a little later than normal, and we can always buy whatever it was that we forgot.

But there’s something that’s been nagging on my mind for a few months.  I keep trying to push it away, thinking that I’m just over-reacting again.  But I can’t.  It’s really been bothering me.

Claire doesn’t talk yet. 

Sure, she babbles and she laughs.  She says “mamamamama” and “doy doy.”  But she doesn’t say Mama when she points to me.  She doesn’t mimick us.

She hears me fine.  I ask her if she wants more Cheerios and she shows me the sign for “More.”  She’s figuring out the sign for “All Done.”  But, she can’t moo like a cow, or say “milk.”

I worry that we’re not challenging her enough.  We don’t interact enough with kids.  We don’t play outside enough.  It’s hard, since JR and I both work.  There aren’t enough hours in the week to take her to the park or a playdate.  But what if we’re raising a kid who can’t interact with kids?  What if she doesn’t say something before she’s 15 months – just a month and a half away?  The doctor said that if she doesn’t say real words by then, she’ll test her hearing.  But I know she hears fine.  She responds to us when we talk to her.  She just doesn’t talk back.

It’s hard to express my concern to people around me.  They try to make me feel better by downplaying what’s happening.  My neice (who’s only 2 weeks older than Claire and already has a large library of words) talks because she’s around her older siser.  Claire babbles, so she’s fine.

But all that does is make me feel worse.  I want to be taken seriously and for someone to acknowledge that there MIGHT be something going on here.  Even if the solution is just for us to spend everyday JUST talking to her, and encouraging her to talk back.  I just want someone to tell me that this MIGHT NOT be just me overreacting. 

I never thought I had a mother’s instinct, but what if I do?  What if I’m right about this and we don’t DO anything? 

What if there’s something really wrong?


Filed under Uncategorized

8 responses to “Too many what if’s

  1. Okay. I have to tell you – I can so, so relate to this. Truly. For a long time, I was sure my littlest was either autistic or had cerebral palsy (because yeah, the symptoms of those are the same @@ at myself). I said all that to let you know that I’m seriously the definition of Nervous Nelly.

    My advice? If your pediatrician doesn’t seem concerned, let it be. My oldest didn’t talk very much until he was well over two. Today? We can’t get him to shut up. Tricia is just a couple of months older than Claire (if I haven’t mixed bloggers up here – Tricia was born 03/20/07), and Tricia’s vocabulary is pretty limited even with having a family of chatterboxes.

    So. I’ll pass on my very wise mother-in-law’s words – ask the doctor, if you really are worried, but then? Let her go at her own pace.

    All that aside, {{{{hugs}}}} to you. Worrying and not knowing if you should worry sucks.

  2. I was convinced that Hailey had downs syndrome because her pinky was crooked. I’m not even certain that’s a sign of Down’s Syndrome or if I just got it confused but I was worried sick about it even though everyone told me not to worry. Finally I got a professional opion and it turns out that I’m just a worrier. But that doesn’t mean it makes my worry any less painful or valid. Call the doctor. Have them do some tests. It’s probably nothing but at least you’ll know and be able to stop worrying.

  3. My first was severely speech delayed, and didn’t talk till he was 4. (He’s 11 now, and you’d never know it.) We began speech therapy at 18 months, in spite of his pediatrician being all, “Oh, he’s just a boy, boys are like that…” He really did need help, and something in my gut told me that.

    Then I had a little girl, who was talking by 9 months, and I felt amazed at watching the process unfold in such an effortless way.

    Now we’re back in speech therapy with number 3, who had 3 words at 2. Things are taking off or him, but we still get all the “Oh, he’ll do it when he’s ready” kind of stuff from well-meaning people. No, he’ll do it when he’s able, and when we’ve given him the help to do it.
    Sometimes, your gut goes off for a reason. Agree with Bloggess that it can’t hurt to have her evaluated, and worse case scenario? A nice lady comes over and plays for an hour a week, and you get some new parenting tricks in your arsenal. 🙂 But if you’re worried, listen to it.
    HTH- Lindsay

  4. h31n0us

    My son would make sounds and then stop constantly until he was 2ish. We asked the doc about it and he said, “Not to worry. Kids take things at their own pace.” This at least gave us piece of mind (which goes good with berries on top btw.)He also told us to keep him informed on his progress.

    When he hit 2, he just started talking in nearly complete sentences. His mom disagrees, but I think he did it just to taunt us.

    It’s best to have an evaluation, but I wouldn’t fret too much just yet. Just get it done and you’ll feel better and probably get some helpful suggestions along the way.


  5. Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:

  6. My son is turning 2 this week, and he is JUST starting to talk. He refused and refused to say ANYTHING, and then, suddenly, he just decided to talk and started saying about 10 words that first day.

    If you know she hears you, and if she can communicate with signs, i wouldn’t worry about it. There is a huge span for normal, and kids just need to take things at their own pace.

    Some day she’ll surprise you and just start talking. When she feels like it. 🙂

  7. Tamsin

    My younger son didn’t talk at all until he was two. Then BAM it was straight to full sentences immediately.

    HOWEVER, I still believe you should get a second doctor’s opinion. If there is one thing I have learned as a mom, it is to trust my gut. If it worries you, don’t let it go – definitely get a specialist involved. If your doctor won’t refer, find one who will.

    Good luck!

  8. Pingback: Newsletter: 14 months « My Doppleganger

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s