This is why I shouldnt go to bars. I drink too much and think things I shouldn’t think. Its the romance. Its gone. But was it ever there? I feel like I need so much more than what he’s giving me. I feel badly, and I need him to make me feel better. But he doesn’t. I really need to get back on some medicine, at least until I can afford to see a counselor. I’m depressed and not doing anything isn’t helping. No more drinking, at all. It only makes everything worse.