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Do any of you have, at work, those toilet paper holders that have a lock so if you’re in the bathroom and the toilet paper runs out you can’t put a new one on so you walk out hoping no one sees you leaving that stall and goes in to find you’re the kind of person to not take the empty roll off and put the new one on, but there’s no reason to think that because the only person who can take the empty roll off and the new roll on is the person with the little toilet paper holder key?
Oh, you don’t have those? Well, never mind then.

The weather guy on TV last night: “We’re very sorry we cut into your programming, but we felt it was important because of the heavy rain…and baseball sized hail…and, you know…THE TORNANDOS in the area. We know a lot of our viewing area in not experiencing any severe weather, but we want to keep those that ARE up to date. So stop calling the station, bitching about missing the season finale of Law and Order.”
Ok, I might have added that last part. But you know he was smirking a little bit when the second storm hit the entire Austin metro.

I’m sitting in a Very Important Conference (read: boring.) and am the youngest one here by at least ten years. Oh wait! There’s a guy my age. But, he’s wearing an orange shirt. Yellow, maybe? Actually, it looks mango. No, seriously it’s orange. Anyway, he really clashes with the red auditorium seats. Not that you should plan your wardrobe around the possibility that you’ll be spending your morning in an auditorium. But I can’t imagine orange matches much…

The old man with big ears (on a side note: do men’s ears get bigger as they get older. Has this been looked into) sitting in front of me is playing with his blackberry. Forgetting for a moment how funny that is in and of itself, I find myself wondering if he’s twittering.

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